Little Johny Jokes = Happie

The Best of Chuck Norris Jokes, Facts and Sayings!

Chuck Norris doesn't pet any animals. Animals pet themselves when he approaches them.

Chuck Norris threw a hand grenade and killed 50 people. Then the grenade exploded.

When Chuck Norris enters the room, even the chairs are standing up.

Chuck Norris doesn't need to flush the toilet. He simply goes "Boo!" and anything in the bowl promptly rushes away.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at a Burger King. He got it without a single remark.

Chuck Norris doesn't ever call the wrong number. You just answer the wrong phone.

When Lee Harvey Oswald shot Kennedy, Chuck Norris caught the bullets with his own bare hands. JFK's head exploded simply because he was so overawed.

Chuck Norris’ cowboy boots are made of real cowboys!

Chuck Norris once had an arm-wrestling competition with Superman. The bet was that the loser has to then wear his underwear on top of his trousers.

Chuck is able to slam a revolving door.

 „And, Johnny? How did your school report turn out?“ asks mother. „Come on mom, the most important thing is that I’m healthy!“

Little Johnny once bought his Granny a very fine toilet brush for her birthday. But when he went to visit her a few weeks later, there wasn’t a sign of it in the bathroom. Little Johnny asked his Grandma, “Granny, what happened to the loo brush I gave you?”

“Darling, I really didn’t like it. After all those years, I’ve gotten used to the toilet paper, and this new thing was just far to scratchy.”

Little Johnny walks a cow through the village square. The mayor sees him and asks, “Hey Johnny, where are you going with the cow?”

“I’m taking her to the bulls so she would get impregnated,” answers Johnny.

The mayor is shocked, “Surely your father had better be doing that?”

Little Johnny thinks about it for a bit and shakes his head, “Nah, I think it’s really best left with the bulls.”

– Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry?

– Because I helped her.

– But that is a good thing! What did you help her with?

– I helped her eat her gummy bears.

Little Johnny asks the teacher, “Mrs Roberts, can I be punished for something I haven’t done?”

Mrs Roberts is shocked, “Of course not, Johnny, that would be very unfair!”

Little Johnny is relieved, “OK Mrs Roberts, sorry, I haven’t done my homework.”

Source : Happie