Friday, 29 January 2016
Bird Jokes - Happie
Q: When
should you buy a bird?
A: When it’s
going cheep!
Did you hear
the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to
make a long distance caw.
Q: What is
green and pecks on trees?
A: Woody the
Wood Pickle.
Q: There was
a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it
roll?
A: Roosters
don’t lay eggs!
Q: Why did
the bird get a ticket?
A: It broke
the law of gravity!
Q: What do
you call a chicken in the 1960’s?
A: A funky
chicken.
Q: Why do
seagulls fly over the sea?
A: Because
if they flew over the bay, they’d be baygulls!
Q: How do
you catch a unique bird?
A: Unique up
on it.
Q: How do
you catch a tame bird?
A: The tame
way, unique up on it!
Q: How does
a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?
A: With its
sparrowchute.
Q: Why did
the little bird get in trouble at school?
A: Because
he was caught tweeting on a test.
Q: What do
you give a sick bird?
A:
Tweetment.
Q: Why does
a stork stand on one leg?
A: Because
it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
Q: How did
the bubble gum cross the road?
A: On the
bottom of the chicken’s foot!
Q: Why did
the chicken cross the playground?
A: To get to
the other slide!
Q: Why did
the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?
A: He was a
dirty double crosser!
Q: Why do
hummingbirds hum?
A: Because
they don’t know the words.
Q: Why did
the little bird get in trouble at school?
A: He got
caught peeping on a test.
Q: Why did
the chicken cross the clothing store?
A: To get to
the other size!
Q: Why do
ducks fly south?
A: Because
it’s too far to walk!
Q: Why did
the rooster cross the road?
A: To prove
he wasn’t a chicken!
There was a
duck who walked into a store and said, “got any candy?” The storekeeper said,
“no, we don’t.” The next day, the duck went into the same store and asked the
same thing and got the same anwer. The duck kept going back every day for a
week and asked the same thing and kept getting the same answer until the store
keeper got so angry he said, “if you come in here and ask that again, I will
hit you on the head with a hammer!” The next day, the duck walks into the store
and asks, “got a hammer?” The store keeper says, “no.” Then the duck asks, “got
any candy?”
Q: What does
a cat call a hummingbird?
A: Fast
food.
Q: What was
the farmer doing on the other side of the road?
A: He was
catching all the chickens!
Q: How do
chickens get strong?
A:
Egg-cersize.
Q: How do
crows stick together in a flock?
A: Velcrow.
Q: What did
one egg say to the other egg?
A: Let’s get
crackin’!
Q: What do
you call a crate of ducks?
A: A box of
quackers.
Q: Why
didn’t the rooster cross the road?
A: Because
it was chicken.
Q: What robs
you while you’re in the bathtub?
A: A robber
ducky.
Q: Why did
Mozart sell his chickens?
A: Because
they kept saying “bach bach”!
Q: How did
the egg cross the road?
A: It
scrambled across!
Q: What do
you call a parrot that flew away?
A: A polygon
Q: What do
you call a sad bird?
A: A
bluebird!
Q: Why did
the poultry farmer become a school teacher?
A: So he
could grade his eggs.
Q: What kind
of math do Snowy Owls like?
A: Owlgebra
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